Okay - now that all the prep and the whys are out there let’s get going…
I’ll start with two main points -
Every one of us is the way we are because of somebody else. Either because of, or in spite of… We’ve all been influenced in our behavior.
Being a child, a kid, a teenager, and then a young adult is the hardest thing everyone of us has to do.
Note that this doesn’t say any single one of us will ever do. It says everyone of us HAS to do.
Okay - enough with the outline nonsense.
I suppose if you’re one of those folks who never grows up you could say this does not apply to you. You enjoy being a child - whatever.
But seriously - this has been a philosophy I have held true to for my entire adult life, and I’ve made it my mission to make things as easy as possible, or at least easier for the young people who cross my path.
For the purposes of our exercise - let’s look at why that life is hard for those kids, and what we can do to improve that - to make them more Decent Human Beings.
Okay - why do you think that’s so hard, Jim?
Because kids are assholes. They treat each other like crap. Maybe not always on purpose, but peer pressure is peer pressure, and kids are doing everything they can do to fit in. AND bullying is bullying. Now, I’ve met my fair share of adult bullies, but by the time we’re adults we usually have learned to steer clear. Kids - not so much.
Going further - We tend to mirror the behavior of our parents, or at least those adults who have the most influence on us - so if your parents are bullies, or worried about keeping up with the Jones’s as they say… Or your parents are racists, or nosey neighbors, or lean heavily one way or another politically (for the record that is the most political I hope to ever be in this space), and on and on…
You most likely are going to mirror that behavior.
OR
You’re going to fight back against all of that behavior because you have some impetus that makes you. You’ve been abused. You’ve lost a loved one who meant the most to you. You were taken advantage of because you were vulnerable in some way.
You are the one being bullied for example. Or you are the one kid who never has the right shoes, or jeans, or… hmmm… what else did I fight with my parents about when I was younger… But I digress… Although, I can pretty much promise you I’ll revisit this at some point in the future.
The thing is - for kids especially that doesn’t have to be a permanent status for “who they are.” Sometimes a friend, or mentor, or boyfriend or girlfriend, or hell I’ll admit it - my wife, comes along and shows you the way to be a better human being.
You slowly (sometimes more slowly than others), figure out that what you’re doing, how you’re behaving, has a direct correlation to something you learned in the past and you need to undo it. NOW!
OR - and this is a big OR that I almost forgot to include here:
Your parents or influencers are good and decent people who believe in all the golden rules and you are a pretty good and decent human being yourself already.
Congratulations!
The key of course is being able to recognize who you are. You have to be willing to listen and, more importantly, learn and discern as they say.
Learn! That’s what we’re doing here today, and going forward.
Life is supposed to be about making progress, about growing, about learning - Right…
Or does something get in the way?
I’ll talk about that next time.