Where did everybody go?

How all this got started...

“Where did everybody go?”

I was waking up from the first surgery on my pancreas. (For those of you wondering - the surgery was necessary because I didn’t just have pancreatitis - I had necrotizing pancreatitis, and there was a lot of infection and dead tissue to clean out. Aren’t you glad you asked?)

Anyway, I was waking up… and I noticed that all the people who were ordinarily with me in my hospital room were, well they weren’t there.

“You kicked them out.” My wife informed me.
Apparently, as I was waking up from my surgery I was in a foul mood and I wanted the room cleared - so everybody left.

Now, after Annette told me what had happened I had a foggy memory of it, but I was still absolutely mortified. (My mother would be so proud I used that word in my writing.)

I couldn’t believe I had been so abrupt, so mean, so rude to the people who were supporting me and staying by my side.
I would later find out that I was simply having a bad reaction to whatever anesthesia meds they had used to put me out. I made sure that was corrected for my subsequent surgeries - so I felt better about things, but yeah - still mortified. (A call back just for Mom.)

Laying there in that hospital bed, being absolutely exhausted with every movement, every thought (even thinking back on it is tiring to be honest), I was realizing slowly, but surely, that this was my last chance. I needed to get myself together, and I needed to be sure I was grateful for the support I had.

I wish I could say it was all very easy. I wish I could say I flipped a switch and everything was sunshine and lollipops, but it wasn’t. It was a process… all culminating here.

It was just the first step, the first thought, the first nod to the fact that I am human and life really is short.

A friend reached out to me as I announced this project and asked about the pancreatitis. I cannot begin to tell you how emotional the flashback became.

As I read this part of my reply out loud to Annette my voice more than cracked, and my wife told me she understood: “I took the whole thing as a wake up call. I had a terrific support system. Annette stayed by my side the entire time I was in the hospital. My girls, one of my Chow kids, and my mother-in-law, spent more time at the hospital with me than any man deserves. One of my very best friends, who is a type 1 diabetic, has been an incredible resource for diet questions. I know I spent my last ticket on life and I need to make the most of it.”

I also now realize it was the first step in this project. Being appreciative of what I have. Knowing when to say thank you, and recognizing when people are going above and beyond for you, which means you should repay the favor.

I have much to be grateful for. This was just the beginning.